One of our readers sent us a video of comedians sharing their ideas on how to fuel cars safely and responsibly. This may seem frivolous, but comedians are the closest thing our culture has to public philosophers, so it’s worth listening to them from time to time. And we must say, the “douchebaggery” suggestion appeals to us; Lord knows there’s enough of it to spare, judging from what this topic brings out in people. Hell, cars could essentially be powered by AM radio under that system, so perhaps Obama could throw some money at R&D as long as he’s bailing out every other undeserving company under the sun. Anyway, click Erin Foley’s extremely dignified face to watch the video.

The Toyota Prius is, as we all know, was the first mass-produced hybrid car, and the 2008 model is the most fuel efficient car sold in the United States. It’s also become a archetype for pretentious liberals and rich hippies among conservatives, which is about to get worse because the newest Prius model comes equipped with cooling fans run by solar panels on the roof. Yes, Virginia, the Prius has gotten even more uppity.

The fans run when the car is off and locked, keeping it cool in hot weather and eliminating the need to rush for the A/C the second you restart the car. However, Toyota is still offering remote-control A/C as an option because of the high cost of the solar panel upgrade. The new Prius will also feature an improved aerodynamic design, which allows more speed for less energy, and redesigned headlights that use 17% less power than older models. Sadly, it doesn’t fly, talk, or bake cookies in the glove compartment yet, but it’s only 2009.

Besides, we like the fact that new Prius models feature a range of improvements, and that even the small tinkerings are more specific and noteworthy than changes in standard-engine cars. We’re also impressed by the across-the-board dedication to this technology, and it’s clearly a situation where competition is breeding improvements and progress, at least in this early stage of hybrid vehicle production. Of course, Rush Limbaugh will have a fit when he sees how much a solar panel upgrade will run the average consumer (which he considers himself to be, despite being a rich pill-popper who gets paid to do basically nothing), but if he’s that pissed off about hybrid technology, he’s welcome to return to the days of the Nash Rambler while the rest of us make a better world.

…wait, I thought that was Earth Day…

Whatever. Hug a corn cob!

Solaren Corp. - One could argue they’re already funding solar energy efforts by making plans to beam it down from friggin’ space. But they should throw some money at the Solar Decathlon to get their name out there and maybe pick up some ideas for America’s inevitable space colonizing efforts. The moon can’t go on unfranchised forever, ya know.

Dunkin’ Donuts - Free donuts and coffee for the participants would be nice. Make special donut holes called Sunspots or dye them green, whatever works.

Google - They make satellite footage of practically everywhere on the planet freely available, and they have storehouses of random online search information they’ve collected and refuse to release, so it’s about time they did something that wasn’t invasive and creepy. Besides, this could snowball into a GoogleGreen application for them, and since alternative energy is hip among the net-savvy right now, a one-stop resource for conservation and alt. energy resources would certainly be welcome.

Yahoo! - Why let Google have all the fun?

Starbucks - This lagging coffee empire has taken some hits from McDonalds for being uppity and too expensive. Helping fund a Solar Decathlon would show the upside to being an uppity, liberal-latte haven, in that they by default wouldn’t be a union-busting, predatory, multinational corporation that uses a clown to sell unhealthy food to children.

Sun Microsystems - Sun is in the name, so in that respect it’s not as far a leap as one would think. Plus, there’s enough of a cross-section between open source software users and the environmentally conscious that they could get some great press from sponsoring the Decathlon. Plus, there are far too many people unacquainted with OpenOffice, which is one of the best things ever.

Microsoft - They’re richer than Midas, and that money has to go somewhere. They could throw some money at this project or have Dell/Gateway/IBM-Lenovo throw in with them and donate a top-of-the-line PC for every house. Not Compaq, though. That would just be insulting.

Apple - In case Microsoft bails, Apple shares enough of that Starbucks college kid consumer base for this to be a logical sponsorship option. Plus, they could give all the participants iTunes gift cards.

Tesla Motors - They don’t even have to donate money; just have a hot girl in aviator sunglasses drive up in that sweet Roadster, honk the horn, and give a thumbs-up before speeding off. Seriously. That’s all we’re asking.

Greetings, all! Apologies for the delay in posting, but a friend and frequent reader of ours is getting hitched, so we’re up in NY having a grand old time of it. But when we return, we’ll have made a list of companies who should be sponsoring solar energy development. It’ll be awesome. But for now, we’ve got some serious drinking to do. Thinking. We meant thinking. Oh dear.

In the meantime, click the picture to hear the latest on Obama’s green energy plans.

Okay, that list of potential sponsors for the Solar Decathlon is gonna have to wait, because someone just sent us an article on perhaps the coolest thing we’ve ever heard; solar power BEAMED DOWN FROM SPACE.

Now, it probably doesn’t need to be said how much we love outer space here at Corn Car. It is a boundless prairie of stars and planets that, perhaps because it’s so danged far away, sparks our curiosity something fierce. It’s one of the last things that we can really wonder about, and just about the only pleasant one. So hearing that it’s possible, with the right technology, to harness solar energy in space and beam it down to earth, turns us into giddy children. Really. Our intern won’t stop dancing.

Here’s how it’s all going down - According to the LA Times (linked above), “a Manhattan Beach start-up called Solaren Corp. seeks to launch an array of giant solar power collectors into orbit 23,000 miles above Fresno and beam the energy to Earth.” Pacific Gas & Electric Co., after years of pulling energy from split atoms, natural gas, and falling water, wants to buy the power should it prove feasible.

How they’re going to scrape together $2 billion during a recession is for them to figure out, but Solaren already has a plan. Once enough solar collectors are rocketed into stationary orbit, the solar energy they collect “would be converted into radio waves and beamed to a receiving station in Fresno…there, it would be converted to either alternating or direct electric current and dispatched to customers via high-voltage transmission lines.”

It’s a literal pie-in-the-sky grab, and critics maintain that we should stick with terrestrial alt. energy sources, and we should. But it’s also good to keep trying new technology, considering that many of the revolutionary advances we have now were untested risks in their infancy. Plus, if we can deliver pizza to space, why can’t we give this a shot?

Considering how hot it is outside, we thought it fitting to mention that we just got linked to the 2009 Solar Decathlon, hosted by the US Dept. of Energy, in which 20 teams of students compete to “design, build, and operate the most attractive and energy-efficient solar-powered house.”
Each team puts a crew together, raises funds, and works with contractors to build their solar-powered house, then they move them to the National Mall in DC and rebuild them there. When that’s done, the houses are opened up to the public and judged in 10 contests to determine an overall winner. Aside from the obvious educational factor at work here, the idea behind this event is to educate the public about conservation and solar energy use, and demonstrate that “Zero Energy Homes” are both possible and comfortable. The dates for each stage are listed below:

• Oct. 8-16—Teams compete in 10 contests
• Oct. 9-13—Houses are open to the public
• Oct. 15-18—Houses are open to the public
• Oct. 19-21—Teams disassemble their houses

As for the Decathletes themselves, they come from all over; teams have been put together at Cornell, Penn State, Virginia Tech, and Universidad de Puerto Rico, and that’s just a handful of the participants. The full list of teams is here.

There are also opportunities for private entities to sponsor the event, or individual teams - in our next post, we’ll list some companies who should sling a little money at this project.

Man, China just can’t stay out of the news, can they? This time it’s about clean coal, specifically that they’re miles ahead of us in both using and refining the process. According to the New York Times, “China has begun building such plants [more efficient, coal-fired power plant that use extremely hot steam] at a rate of one a month,” while the US is still dithering around with the prospect of building one.

This sounds worse than it actually is, though. If cellulosic ethanol technology is still in a state of infancy, clean coal is a zygote. And even if it wasn’t, China still burns more coal than pretty much every other country on earth combined, and still hasn’t begun regulating emissions yet. Plus, “even an efficient coal-fired power plant emits twice the carbon dioxide of a natural gas-fired plant.” As far as clean fuel technology goes, they’re not as far ahead as they may seem.

Even so, we shouldn’t allow them to get one up on us in the energy race. In his book, American Theocracy, former GOP strategist Kevin Phillips theorizes that superpowers decline when they fail to adapt to new sources of energy. The Dutch became a superpower in the days when wood, water, and wind were the high points of energy production. However, they didn’t latch onto coal fast enough and were usurped by the British, who powered an empire on the stuff. Phillips further explains that when initial sources of innovation stagnate (i.e. when countries become too dependent on them), newer ones can cause a shift in global leadership almost single-handedly.

China’s progress does expose how little we’ve addressed what to do with industry, though. Most of the biofuel/cleaner energy talk has been about cars and occasionally home use, but what about our own heavy industry? We haven’t outsourced all of it, god knows, and we haven’t spent much time outlining what’s going to replace oil on that scale yet. We vote ethanol. But we always vote ethanol. What do you think?