Fast Times at CCHQ

We were sitting around at Corn Car HQ (also known as CCHQ) today, waiting for one of the interns to return with lunch, when the conversation turned to Neil Young and his brilliant idea to hybridize his 1957 Lincoln Continental. Pretty cool, yeah? We think so too, and we ended up tossing around ideas for what other classic, iconic cars could put a cooler face on the hybrid vehicle. Here’s what we came up with, taking care to include pros and cons.

1960 Ford Thunderbird
Pro: Just look at it, for God’s sakes. This car would turn Rick Moranis into a badass rebel who smoked unfiltered cigarettes and wore sunglasses indoors. When people look back on the halcyon days of big, American cars, this is what they have in mind.
Con: Hybrid cars have a pretty steep initial cost as it is, so god only knows what this thing would run you. Plus, guys like this would always be challenging you to races.

The General Lee
Pro: Sturdy, dependable, capable of outrunning county police vehicles and jumping over ditches or haystacks. As a promotional effort, each General could come with a CD of Waylon Jennings voice overs.
Con: Anyone who wants a hybrid at this stage of the game would balk at driving something with Confederate flags all over it. Also, the owner’s manual is probably written in Talladega.

The Bluesmobile
Pro: It’s got a cop motor, cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks, and it’s a model made before the catalytic converter.
Con: The giant speaker would impact the car’s tires and overall fuel economy. Plus, the cigarette lighter doesn’t work.

Dragula
Pro: It looks awesome, and it’s made from a coffin, so your family will save on funeral expenses if you wreck it and die.
Con: It’s made of wood, which carries its own set of issues (rot, termites, etc.). Plus, you kinda need to be 7 feet tall to drive it.

The Original Batmobile
Pro: It has the body shape and flourishes of a 1960s sports car with the whole Batman aesthetic topping it off. Many of its features are voice-activated, and it’s pretty much indestructible.
Con: It’s one of the most conspicuous vehicles ever made. And Batman always wonders how his enemies keep finding him.

As you can see, it was an exhaustive effort. No rest for the wicked here at CCHQ. If any readers have cars to add to this list, feel free to comment.