Examining corporate goodwill

So we’ve been wondering why exactly businesses and city transportation services have been so accommodating to hybrids. Not that we aren’t tickled pink about it - the more support hybrids get now, the easier it will be to develop them - but those arms of the System aren’t well known for embracing things. Hell, in our experience they’ve made it a point to drain as much fun from our lives as possible, hence our surprise at their outreach. We have some theories as to why they’re being so friendly, though, and we’ll share them in our usual list format.

1. Businesses/government agencies are run by human beings sometimes
Not everyone in the higher-ups of the System is a cackling supervillain who sits in a high-backed leather chair stroking his white Persian cat between executions of his enemies. Only most of them fit this description. The remaining 10-15% are ostensibly human and are impacted by oil wars and fuel shortages just like the rest of us. They’ve recognized oil dependence as a problem, and have decided to be part of the solution by actively supporting hybrids and alternative fuel sources.

2. Businesses like good PR
No one who owns a company likes getting slapped around by the media (unless they’re Donald Trump), and in general people want to be regarded as the good guy. Considering how many of America’s current problems can be traced back to oil, some businesses are trying to court public frustration by presenting themselves as politically and environmentally-conscious, with enough longterm vision to see a viable place in our society for hybrid cars. It seems shallow, but moves like this can mark the difference between “ew, BP? Don’t they build their pipelines with slave labor? I’ll fill up somewhere else,” and “oh hey, BP’s throwing $8 billion towards alternative energy research. Pull in, I’m under half a tank anyway.”

3. Businesses like money
When the political sector panders to interest groups, it often slings money towards related agencies and provides tax relief and other benefits for companies that play ball. So when someone like Barack Obama decides to give companies government money for researching biofuels and lowering emissions, and encourage investment in those companies, they’re more likely to cooperate. If the public (or their representatives) makes hybrids profitable enough, the private sector will respond. Especially because…

4. Al Gore has taken hostages
We’ve learned from the Internet that Al Gore can belch fire from the telescoping exhaust hatch in his esophagus. So it’s not hard to imagine that he’s used this terrifying ability, among others, to kidnap high-ranking government officials and a few global energy company CEOs and keep them in a windowless, soundproof isolation tank high up on Bridge Mountain. It won’t take much charring to get those guys to start acting right, and this would certainly be a more direct approach than dry, informational books, his Oscar-winning documentary, or even putting his head in a jar on Futurama.

In any case, it’s nice to see people banding together to push for alternative fuel sources, and it’s even nicer to see their efforts rewarded with support from up on high. Let’s keep up the good work.