Post-Independence Day Newsreel!

Wow! Sorry we were gone for so long, but we decided to take a long holiday with our respective families and celebrate America’s birth by blowing up small chunks of it with fireworks. There was also environmentally responsible barbecuing. But there were also some alt. fuel developments while we were away, so it’s time for us to play catch-up.

First off, genetically-modified corn crop Corn Amylase has proven to be a boon for ethanol producers - specifically grown for fuel, it “borrows a heat-resistant protein from deep-sea bacteria to produce a kernel easily converted to ethanol without adding expensive enzymes.” It’s also been deemed safe for human consumption by the FDA and EPA, although Frankenfood skeptics are still wary of what would happen if Corn Amylase got mixed up with conventional grain to wreak havoc on processed foods. Can’t say there’s a big chance of that happening, given the separation between ethanol and food processing facilities, but after the Starlink Incident in 2000, the concern is understandable. Syngenta, the makers of Corn Amylase, intends to only grow the stuff in “closed-loop” settings, thereby removing it from any contact with traditional grain supplies.

Stepping away from corn fuel, the makers of Google’s G1 phone - not content with Google merely being a major investor in Tesla Motors - are developing an autonomous, self-driving car with “a glass-walled-like seating area on four hidden wheels” and no steering column, brake pedal, or driver’s seat. And since such a sleek, modern futuremobile needs a fitting name, they’re calling it the…ATNMBL? Really? Wow. Slicker than owl shit, those Google folks. The reason for this curious concept is the designers’ opinion that “today’s car industry is brainwashed by its own car culture,” which is an interesting point, but also an uphill marketing battle. Corn Car agrees with Neil Young about the car culture not being an inherently bad or wasteful thing, and that it can be tailored to fit environmentally safe ideas. Whether or not the ATNMBL fits that theory remains to be seen, but selling it as “a space for living” isn’t a good start - Americans have enough of those already.

And finally, McDonalds’ food might not be environmentally safe, but their company is getting there. They announced plans to open their first green restaurant this month in - of all places - Cary, North Carolina. A green McDonalds restaurant means not only eco-friendly materials, but electric vehicle charging stations. Not a bad idea at all, and I can see this really catching on with Sonic, whose car parks could be turned into charging stations so customers could order and eat while refueling. Plus, we love their chili cheese tots.